My Version Of "You Might Be A Runner If …"

YOU MIGHT BE A RUNNER IF …

… you know where the one mile marker lies from your house - in any direction.

… you see vehicles with running-related stickers and instantly feel a camaraderie with the people inside.

... it's totally normal to take two or three showers every day.

… you have multiple pairs of running shoes.

… you have some very interesting tan lines.

… you are a member of more than one running group on Facebook.

… you are signed up for multiple races at any given time.

… you know the meanings of most/all of the following acronyms: PR, PB, PW, BQ, DNF, DNS, DNQ, DFL, LSR, LSD, HR, OR, WR, AG, ITBS, AT, PF, SFX, MP, HM, MPM, RD, DOMS, XT, C25K, XC, WU, CD.

… you fear loose dogs.

… you know the correct mileage for these races: 5k, 8k, 10k, 12k, 15k, half marathon, full marathon, 50k, 100k, Ironman.

… you know the mileage for these distances: 200 meters, 400 meters, 800 meters, 1,200 meters, 1,600 meters.

… your running clothes take up the most space in your closet.

… you know the location of every public bathroom and drinking fountain in a twenty-mile radius. And if there are none, you have spots already picked out where you can duck and squat. Oh, and you carry wipes with you, always.

… every vacation includes a race or, at the very least, multiple training runs.

… you frequently check the weather forecast to determine how it will affect your runs/races.

… you analyze the color of your urine to determine how well you've hydrated.

… your friends ask you for your race schedule so they can plan their wedding. (True story. My friend Michele can vouch!)

… your cure for feeling tired is to go for a run.

… your cure for everything - with the exception of the stomach flu and running-related injuries - is to go for a run.

… you know how these types of runs differ: tempo, fartlek, pace, interval, hill repeats, strides.

… you get really excited when you discover a new running route.

… you have lost friends, FB or otherwise, because they are tired of hearing/reading about your running.

… you have been called "insane," an "addict" or "crazy" and consider them compliments.

… all you think about is running.

… you have used the excuse "I'm carb-loading" to eat whatever the hell you want.

… you have peed/pooped in the woods or in a field or blown snot rockets while on a run.

… you get jealous when you see others running.

… Imodium is your friend.

… you're excited for your next birthday because it means you'll be in a new age group, which means it's just a little bit easier to qualify for Boston.

… you associate the word "bib" with a race rather than a baby.

… you have a huge bundle of safety pins in your car.

… you know all the signs and symptoms of common runner injuries.

… you can't imagine life without Body Glide.

… you have an extra set of running clothes in the car … just in case an opportunity arises.

… you finish a run/race and you're already focused and excited about the next run/race.

… you've swallowed/inhaled multiple insects.

… you can spot other runners by looking at their calves.

… you ache for more running gear - shoes, watches, clothes - because you can never have enough of it all.

… you want to high-five every other runner you see.

… without looking, you can list correctly, and to the second, your personal record for every distance you've raced.

… you're okay with driving hundreds/thousands of miles to run 26.2 miles.

… you determine whether an unfamiliar area is livable based on the area roads' "runability."

… you have an overwhelming desire to